Analyzing in freudian style my own life... i've finally understood why i am... an idiot.

I was mad... and also sad.
I could say that i was actually an emotional cocktail of madness and sadness... but... I just could not accept it... even if i knew it by few days already.
But like all the ones that studied psychology... into a very deep way... i knew to hide all so damn good.
On the real scene of life... i was always wearing a very nice emotional mask... and no one really knew what is going on into my soul.
But...
Well... randomly... there were situations when i was becoming so furious... actually acting like a... devil.
It was a total nonsense... but i was keep doing that... letting those daemons from inside of me... to dominate... all i was doing.
And that happened... on and on and on.
Today i was ok... and one day later... all those strong emotions from inside of me... were taking the control over my soul.
I was actually connected to beautiful vibes... then again to negativity.
It was all an emotional balance.
I was connecting... then disconnecting... then connecting again...
I've tried to understand myself... but more i was going deeper and deeper... i've felt that i could not accept that i dislike so much... something specific from my reality.
This connecting... disconnecting... story... was actually... a chain reaction.
Not being happy of some of the elements of my life... i was randomly losing control on myself... allowing to... explode... as a nuclear bomb... destroying all around myself.
I was basically... a person that could be defined as... a good guy... but... Randomly... allowing those little devils from inside my soul... to dominate the energies beyond the scene of my life... i proved myself to actually be... on and on and on... an idiot.
Only the deep analyzes... done into a freudian style... made me see the fact... that not practicing the honesty... in front of myself... carrying all the time emotional masks that were actually hiding my real emotions... i was always ending up balancing between beautiful and ugly energies.
I had to accept my emotions... even to accept that i act like a... great idiot... but...
I preferred to... hide the truth.
To hide my emotions...

So... i simple continued life... connecting... and disconnecting... to beautiful... but also... ugly energies.

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