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On the evening of January 24 1986, I was a 16 year old teenager. I was alone in the woods with a rifle, and I intended to use it. I was determined to follow my suicide plan to its final, resolute moment.
I didn't arrive at that place overnight. I surrendered my destiny to suicide on a summer afternoon, and as the sultry days turned into cold winter nights, the more I believed suicide was the only hope for me. I thought this is what I wanted as I loaded the rifle, aimed it at my heart, and pulled the trigger.
After I pulled the trigger and I was in the midst of that moment after... I knew I had made a mistake.
Nothing could have prepared me for the consequences of the moment after.
Immediately during the moment after, I wanted 2 things but it was a 3rd desire that would change the course of my life. I wanted to breathe freely again. I took breathing for granted. I wanted to see the sun one more time. The sun was setting during the moment after, and I knew I would never see it again.
I wanted my life back, but it was too late. Once a person enters suicide's moment after, it's often rare they get to walk away from it with their life. Those are the consequences of suicide. These are the consequences I never considered.
Fate was kind to me on that day. I missed my left heart wall by ¼ of an inch, but I still needed to escape the isolation of the woods and crawl towards help. I'm living beyond suicide's moment after because of that 3rd desire, and an intervention from heaven.
For more information, please visit: http://suicide2life.blogspot.com
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