As the title denotes, this is a story about my having been a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS). It is not a work of fiction based on my experience, but is, in fact, the tale as I experienced it. It's important to note that this is not an attempt to sell you on Mormonism, nor is it an expose. It is, however, a story about grief, growth, spirituality, and human connection; all set in the backdrop of a tropical island that juxtaposes so much of what the LDS faith has come to be known for. To be forthright, it's also a book that is aimed at creating a more honest dialogue about missionary service, as well as an effort to acknowledge the reality of mission-related trauma, which is experienced by so many but spoken of by so few.

Although this book is about LDS things, I have worked hard to write it for an audience outside the LDS faith. As a result, I hope that anyone -- Mormon or not -- will find the narrative enjoyable. After all, within these pages you'll read about Rastafarians, ganja, hurricanes, conflict, mental illness, disillusionment, love, transcendence, animosity, racism, and civil unrest. Beneath the details of the narrative, however, resides Socrates' imperative that "To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom." For me, the experiences within this book represent the very beginning of that journey.

I hope you'll enjoy the book, and with the intent of wetting your appetite I'll leave you with the following excerpt:

"Upon coming into the house for lunch, Rogers went straight for the fridge and I went straight for our old, ratty yet cozy couch. I sank deep into its worn cushions and stared into space. Despite my best efforts to keep it all hidden, I started weeping. Bitter, gasping, uncontrollable sobs. The ugly kind.

"Including the MTC, I had been on my mission for almost a month and hadn't felt secure, confident, or sufficient for more that the most fleeting of moments. Rogers rushed over and knelt down in front of me. I could see terror in his face as he looked me in the eye. Having already lost the battle with my sorrow, I gave a voice to my pain and let it all flood out of me.

"'I can't do this!' I lamented. 'I'm already failing! I'm failing and I don't feel like I can do anything to change it. I hate this place! I hate it so bad and I hate that I can't get a grip!'

"Roger's response was simple and firm, 'It's okay! It's okay! It's all going to be okay! Just give it some time and hold on!' he urged. 'Things will get better. I promise things will get easier. You just have to hold on!'

"The panic in his face was matched by his voice but, paradoxically, it brought me peace. For the first time in a month I felt compassion; I felt empathetic connection and it was appallingly alien in nature. Regardless, it was a healing experience and only deepened my feeling that Elder Rogers really wanted me to succeed.

"The exchange was brief and none of my struggles were resolved. Regardless, my breathing slowly calmed and my tears dried. I let out a heavy sigh and I told him that I wouldn't quit. He offered some more words of encouragement before we both stood up and went back to making lunch. After lunch, we knocked more gates."

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• Publication Date: March 13, 2015
• Text-to-Speech: Disabled
• Lending: Disabled
• Print Length: 287 Pages
• File Size: 10 KB