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Meet Diana Delaney, a nondescript, middle aged, talentless housewife and school office administrator. Diana's got a new job: one she didn't apply for. Monster Hunter. Now she's got to save New Orleans, one beast at a time.
Jim and I were high school sweethearts. Or, rather, I thought we were. The events of the last week have given me pause to reconsider.
We dated in high school but had a birth-control fail, resulting in a shotgun wedding. Jim stuck by me, the woman he accidentally impregnated, for all of nineteen years.
Then our daughter, our only child and in her last year at high school, decided she wanted to go north for college the following year. During the fall we went on a road trip to look at colleges because Jim was busy with work as a car salesman. This was to be our last big mother-daughter experience. I loved every bit of it, and so that I wouldn't worry too much about how Jim was faring in my absence, Lola promised to take good care of him while I was gone.
Clearly, I didn't think this through. I was naive and saw the best in people which is why I saw no problem with leaving my best friend to take care of my best guy. After I returned home, I was filled with all kinds of enthusiasm for this new phase of my life. I'd spent nearly two decades being a housewife and part-time school office administrator. I wanted more for the next twenty years of my life. Since I'd had no luck convincing Jim to have more children, I was going to convince him to fund my new business: event planning. That's the one thing I'd ever been good at. I threw the best birthday parties. I organized the best bridal showers. And when I saw Lola's bulging belly under her ugly Christmas sweater, I begged her to let me throw her the best baby shower ever.
I felt sorry for her. Her husband had recently left her. She was about to shoulder the burden of single motherhood on her own while pushing forty. I planned the shower for the weekend before Valentine's Day. I had already arranged a romantic weekend getaway with Jim, our first time away alone... ever. Nothing was going to ruin it.
Except I arrived early to decorate and overheard Lola on the phone. And that's how I found out that Jim was her baby's daddy.
I forced myself to make it through the shower. Then I confronted Jim. He didn't deny it. In fact, he felt compelled to stand by her side as he had for me. He wanted a divorce.
"And I want alimony," I snarled as I watched him pack a suitcase and leave.
I knew enough about divorces to know that if I wanted to keep the house, I couldn't leave it, but by Valentine's Day weekend when we were supposed to go away together, I needed a break from our house, which was wholly haunted with the ghosts of memories past. I couldn't keep torturing myself like this.
So, I took a chance and left on my first solo adventure. I was proud of myself for following through as I settled in at the most perfect lakeside retreat I could imagine. Then, that night, the screaming started. And after I called the property manager, it was clear I was the only one who heard it.
"Loud wailing. Like a banshee!" I said by way of explanation.
"Haven't had one of those in some time," the old crone replied. "Those demons foretell a death in the family for the one who hears it. They feed off pain and extinguish that life unless a monster hunter kills it first."
Well, that explained it. I was now poised to die. I had to accept it or fight it. Luckily, I found something worth fighting for: my daughter. She might be a senior in high school, but she needed me. So, I plugged my ears and did some research. I was going to get busy healing because there was no way I was ready to die. I wasn't ready to be a monster hunter either, but a middle-aged mom has to do what she has to do.
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