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As I watched my four darling children from my wheelchair, I realized this battle through illness had never been about ringing the bell and surviving the fire. I had what mattered all along. The only thing more powerful than fear, sickness, regret, and loss... the only thing stronger than death is love. Nothing could take that away from me.
So, whether I died in my 40s or someone created a miracle cure, I needed to discover peace within myself before it was too late. Yet, as I reflected on recent adventures -- swimming in Jamaica, fiddling in New York, backpacking across Italy, and skydiving with family -- I couldn't help thinking about the irony. While crossing items off my bucket list as a terminal cancer patient, I'd found purpose in the most unexpected places.
How odd that it took dying for me to truly live.
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