I thought I had everything figured out. I was married to the love of my life, raising three children, and living inside a story that felt solid and safe. Then my spouse came to me with a truth they had just discovered about their gender. In that moment, everything I thought I understood about love, identity, and myself quietly shifted.

Queerly Connected: A Spouse's First-Year Journey Navigating Love and Identity in Transition is my month-by-month walk through that first year. I wrote this book from real journal entries, video reflections, and the small, ordinary moments that felt anything but ordinary at the time. You don't just read about what happened, you move through it with me. There is humor, confusion, fear, tenderness, and a lot of love. My daughter once joked that this could have been called "from lesbian to less lesbian," and while my editor disagreed, that little line captures the sideways, autistic humor that carried me when the world felt overwhelming.

I am autistic and AuDHD, though I didn't discover that until after my spouse's transition. Looking back, it explains so much of why this change felt so destabilizing. I struggle with surprises. I don't like changing the style of my socks or the color of my house, and suddenly I was learning how to love my spouse in a completely new way. This book holds that experience gently, without shame, without judgment, and without pretending it was simple.

This story is for trans spouses who feel like no one talks about what they are living. It is for trans people who wonder what their partner might be experiencing behind closed doors. It is for parents trying to understand their child's partner. It is for autistic readers who feel everything deeply and quietly. Above all, it is here to tell you that you are not broken, you are not alone, and you are not the only one walking this path.

You are not alone.

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• LGBTQ+ eBooksLGBTQ+ StudiesTransgender Studies

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• Print Length: 248 Pages
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