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I do not pretend to know what the experts pretend to know. I can tell you what I have gone thru and what I still go thru. I can tell you what I have tried and what was successful and what was not. What helped me may not help you and what has not helped me may work for you. Everyone has experienced the loss of a loved one but all losses are different and do not have the same impact. I don't make any promises but I can with certainty say that I am feeling a lot of what you are feeling. I can't and no one else can fully understand how you feel but I share many of your emotions, the anger, the loneliness. I can tell you what I have encountered and how I have tried to deal with it, to manage it. The empathetic, the sensitive and insensitive, the well wishers are often clueless as like most people who don't understand because they are not or have not gone thru what you are. Maybe this can serve as a primer to them of what you live everyday. We were married just a few months short of fifty years. She was the love of my life. No one will ever replace her so I have to learn how to go on without her. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her or shed a tear. Many try to write about deep grief but have not experienced it, yet they try to speak with an unreal perspective. All the theory and postulates don't make you an expert. I am not a writer nor an expert but someone who lives with grief like yourself and understands how painful it is to go on without someone who was once a part of you. Ones grief is unique to oneself and those that are experiencing that understand. My day is so long and lonely because there is no one to go thru it with me and that's the reality of grief. I hope you will find something here that may be of some help to you.
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