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Boris Johnson speaks like no other politician.
He jokes, jibes and jousts with his opponents.
He entertains supporters with mocking one-liners, wise-cracking puns and vivid metaphors.
Sebastian Windsor, author of the in-depth analysis of Boris's rhetoric: Boris Banter - The Eccentric Oratory of Boris Johnson has now distilled more than 200 of the funniest Boris quips here in this concise book: The Little Gift Book of Boris Johnson's Funniest Quotes.
Boris on bendy buses:
"We've begun the elimination of the bendy bus. It won't be long before the last pair of breeding bendy buses is driven from our streets."
Boris on his privileged upbringing:
"At Eton I was the beneficiary of a scholarship endowed by Henry VI. If that isn't state education, I don't know what is."
Boris on free trade:
"Only the free market could produce something as ingenious as an ice cream Snickers bar."
Attacking Labour leader Keir Starmer:
"Captain Hindsight is rising rapidly up the ranks and has become General Indecision. That is what is happening, I am afraid, to the right honourable and learned gentleman. He dithers. We get on with the job."
Boris on messing up:
Boris: "My strategy is to litter my career with so many decoy mistakes nobody knows which one to attack."
On upsetting people:
"It's absolutely wonderful to be here in Manchester - one of the few great British cities I have yet to insult."
Boris on hotels:
"If you think about the image of British versus American hoteliers: I think we may have Fawlty Towers but then they have Psycho. On the whole I think I'd rather be shown to my room by Basil Fawlty than Norman Bates."
Boris citing Kermit the frog:
"When Kermit the frog sang It's Not Easy Being Green I want you to know he was wrong. And he was also unnecessarily rude to Miss Piggy."
Attacking the SNP:
"We will take back control of our fisheries and the extraordinary marine wealth of Scotland. And it's one of the many bizarre features of the SNP that in spite of being called names like Salmond and Sturgeon they are committed to handing back control of those fish to the EU. We want to turbo-charge the Scottish fishing sector: they would allow Brussels to charge for our turbot."
On emperors:
"I am proud to say today that one in seven of the world's Kings, Queens, Presidents, Prime Ministers were educated in this country including the Japanese Emperor. We have a total global monopoly on the higher education of emperors. Thank you - it's true."
On architecture:
"Only in London could they decide to ensconce the mayor in a building which is a cross between a pile of collapsing pancakes and Darth Vader's helmet."
Enjoy The Little Gift Book of Boris Johnson's Funniest Quotes.
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