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The first time I learned being seen could hurt, I was young enough that the mirror had to be tilted down to catch my face. I remember the way the glass felt cold. My mother's hands framed my jaw, positioning an object rather than a child. A smile when she looked at me, but it didn't soften her grip. It sharpened it.
People say mirrors tell the truth. They don't. Mirrors teach you how other people look at you. Where to tighten, where to hollow, where to smile and where not to move at all. My reflection mattered more than hunger, comfort, than whatever noise my body made when it wanted something.
By the time I was old enough to stand on my own, I no longer needed her hands on my face. I corrected myself when my reflection wasn't right. Felt it before anyone else noticed, the subtle wrongness that meant I was about to disappoint. And fix it before it showed.
The mirror stopped being glass and became something else entirely. A presence. A standard. A way of knowing when I was safe and when I wasn't. When I was fair enough to stay.
I didn't know one day the mirror would start answering back.
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